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Laurtsygrl89
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Name: Lauren
Interests: Kingdom Hearts (I, CoM, and II), Final Fantasy (VII, VIII, IX, X, and X-2), theatre, singing, dancing, art, graphic design, piano, anime, movies, books
Expertise: Adobe Photoshop, graphic design
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/28/2003
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| tiny dancer >>:
There have been questions from the very beginning.
Questions that, given time, have gradually been answered. And usually not in his favor.
Would half of his heart prod emotion and love out of the dormant hollowness of the boy bearing his name and face? Would his captors be able to keep him sealed in bindings holding even his breathing in dormancy?
...would he ever be able to take back the threads of an old life, once another had picked them up and fled with his dreams in his hands?
He is not Syaoran to any of them. He is "Syaoran".
A pathetic, heartless imitation of himself has taken everything from him.
Everything.
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"DON'T PULL THE SWORD OUT!"
Kurogane's shout deafens Syaoran in one ear.
Syaoran's heart is racing, sheer panic blotting out all other thoughts from his mind. He can hardly feel his sprawled body as his legs refuse to move, eyes frozen on the scene in front of him.
But he suddenly feels warm droplets spray through the air, hitting him in the face and making him squint.
The wizard is screaming.
The sound is raw, jarring, cutting Syaoran to the core. He can almost taste the anguish in the air.
Syaoran opens his eyes in a flash, his chest tightening and his breathing ceasing for a moment.
Fai drops to his knees. His arm falls limply to his side, sword still clutched tightly in his long fingers, covered in the blood of the princess.
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Dreaming.
Floating.
"...hello?"
He is aware he is dreaming. It isn't hard for him to tell anymore, really. Seven or more years with both eyes closed, watching his other life pass before him, has allowed for him to easily distinguish his clone's waking and sleeping.
And when the clone sleeps and he can see only murky colors through his right eye, the true Syaoran dreams.
He allows his thoughts to roam, watches colors lazily swirl in his vision before they settle into a scene. He is in no hurry to pilot this one as a lucid dreamer would.
And yet, it is inevitable that she would be here.
It has always been her. Even before he was aware of her fate, of the impending danger, he was aware of her.
Sakura.
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Time passes quickly for Syaoran then. He vaguely remembers Kurogane retrieving his sword from Fai's limp hand, fumbling to turn the unconscious wizard over. He sees everything as through a fuzzy filter, his senses numbed, as the ninja wordlessly helps Syaoran pull his limp form from the crumbling battleground, slinging a lean arm over his shoulders and dragging the blonde warrior back to their quarters.
He sees the world through a fast-moving blur as words seem to pour in one ear and out the other. Yuko speaks solemnly through Mokona's magic beam, Kurogane growls, Fai awakens...
All he knows is for some strange, unknown reason...
Sakura is alive. Body and soul, however, are not united.
That is what remains to be done.
And she did this all...to save him from Fai's cursed and inevitable fatal blow.
To save...him. "Syaoran".
When he is sure all eyes are diverted from him, he puts his face in his hands. But he cannot cry.
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"Princess?"
She is standing as if frozen, barefoot, on supposedly nothing. She wears a milky white dress adorned with some floaty translucent fabric that cascades off her back. Her arms and legs are bare and pale, as if moon-kissed.
Syaoran takes a few hesitant steps into the nothingness, seeing faded starlight winking at him as if from a distance.
The dream world.
"...princess?" he tries once more.
She turns. She sees him. A sad smile lights up her delicate features.
Questions.
There have always been questions.
But only one remains.
"I'm dreaming, aren't I?"
Sakura takes a step toward him. She nods defeatedly, hugging her arms to herself. It is then that Syaoran feels the cold breeze that seems to permeate the air here.
"How is it that I'm able to come here? Is this really the dream world?" he muses, more to himself than to Sakura.
"Who can say?" she answers him anyway. Syaoran looks up.
He isn't sure now. He is dreaming, he knows. But is he in the dream world or only dreaming within his own mind...?
Still, he feels a strange hesitance emnating from the princess. The uncertainty in her demeanor makes him feel sure he is speaking to the real Sakura, not to the Sakura that lives in his memories and dreams.
But this one, the real Sakura, still hasn't let go of him, he knows. Him. The clone whom she'd grown up with, the fake that Syaoran had placed all his desperate hope in and had entrusted with the young girl he loved.
The Syaoran who had failed him.
"You know who I am, then?" he says, cautiously, testing his guess.
She nods, not meeting his eyes. "You're Syaoran-kun, aren't you?"
Somewhere deep inside him, hope swells.
This Sakura is the true Sakura...the one who mistrusts him. The one waiting helpless in the dream world for her companions to retrieve her body and restore her to life.
It is very difficult for Syaoran to keep from running to the slight girl to wrap her in a desperate embrace, trying beyond hope to somehow bring her out of her imprisonment while she is standing right before him...before she slips away again.
But he knows it would never be that easy. He must rescue her from this place in the waking world...later, with Fai and Kurogane. Not now. Not here. He is only sleeping, after all.
"Yes...I am."
They stand in silence for a moment. It is still utter blackness around the two of them, except for the occasional winking light in the distance. And yet, he can still see her perfectly, untainted by the darkness.
"...princess?"
"Yes?" she replies.
"...why did you do this?" he asks, balling his fists and swallowing his pride. "...why did you want to save me?"
Sakura looks at him then, jade green meeting bronze. She looks cornered, exposed, as if the question has caught her off guard.
Syaoran stands stock-still as Sakura closes the space between them with three light foot-falls in the void. His breath catches as she gently reaches out and takes his hand in both of hers. She looks up into his eyes.
She leans close to him, her lips brushing feather-light against his cheek as she whispers in his ear.
"...when you find me, I'll tell you."
Syaoran feels her cool arms wrap lightly about his waist, and before he can form a word or pause to think, he is desperately clasping her against him with all the strength and gentleness he can muster. All hesitancy forgotten, he bows his head, burying his face in her hair as they cling to each other blindly, swaying on the spot.
The dream dissolves.
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Syaoran's eyes open in a flash. He casts about, seeing only a hovering figure above him.
"You awake, kid?" Kurogane asks roughly.
Syaoran blinks. He's laying down. He is still in Infinity.
Fai's face swims vaguely into his sleepy field of vision.
"You looked like you were dreaming, Syaoran-kun," Fai says. Syaoran hears a rasp in the wizard's voice. His single blue eye is still bright and puffy, and tearstains are on his no-longer-bloody cheek.
"Why are you crying, Syaoran?" a voice suddenly pipes into his ear. Mokona hops onto Syaoran's chest as he lifts his head from a pillow he didn't know was there.
He lifts a hand to his face. He pulls a finger away. A teardrop glistens in the dim light.
Questions. Always questions. He'd asked the one question he did not know the answer to...but needed more than anything in all the worlds combined.
"Why did you do this? Why did you want to save me?"
The memory of the princess' arms about him, of the sweet scent of her hair and her whispered promise.
Why?
It is all he can do to keep from speaking it out loud as the answer hits him.
"Because she knows."
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| Wanna hear something hilarious from my sophomore self?
Taken from an entry I made on March 8, 2005:
"i promise i'll stop being KH-obsessed as soon as i beat it. it's taking forever."
...this is possibly 10x funnier than the post saying my fanfiction would be 11 chapters long. Hah. HAHAHA.
Oh, if I only knew. -_-
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| Whee!
Okay, so this week basically consisted of me chauffeuring the kid sibs around. Seriously. It kinda sucked. But on Thursday, I did get to go to Coldstone with Evan and then watch some Pirates and Flight of the Conchords at his house.
And then, tonight was amazing. xD
I had a long hard day babysitting two total brats. So then me and Erica headed out for dinner at TGIFridays (omg <3) and walked around the mall. Then we headed to Barnes and Noble, where I bit the bullet and finally bought the huge one-through-three volume of Tsubasa ReSERVoir Chronicles, which I am currently in love with (on volume #9 at the moment and wah, it's incredible).
Then we went back to Erica's house and watched Howl's Moving Castle. Now, I've wanted to see this movie for two years, since it came out. Finally, I get to see the amazing and unbelieveably hot Wizard Howl in all his glory, and I was certainly not disappointed. He's been added to the bishie list and his characteristics have been added to the list of those that real-life boys can probably never fulfill, but a girl can dream.
Then we proceeded to watch 5 episodes of Tsubasa, since I wanted to see the anime-fied version of the books I've been reading. xD They stuck in little tidbits that weren't in the manga, which was pretty cool, and the English dub was just delightful.
Also, Fai's nicknames for Kurogane just hit a new level of hilariousness: um, "Kurgi"?
It's reaaaally late and I still wanna straighten up before I actually hit the sack. G'night and sweet dreams. I'm dreaming of Howl, hopefully. <3
-Laur
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| I've come crawling back to Xanga. I miss it. =b
I was fishing around my old entries in an attempt to find when report cards were mailed in years before. Sounds like this week. Joy.
I also found this little tidbit from July 2005...
"*guh* i just looked at the page count of my fanfiction thus far.
it's 27 pages long, in microsoft word, 10pt font and single-spaced.
am i long-winded or what? and...*counts on fingers* 6 chapters are
coming. well, it may be longer. i haven't quite figured out the ending
yet." ....... May I mention that at the moment, said fanfiction is 23 chapters long, 210 Microsoft word pages, and nowhere near finished. Hah. Ha HAHAHA. I thought it was going to end up being 11 chapters long? Ah, I crack myself up.
Speaking of which, I should really work on chapter 24.
-Laur
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